Sheffield Shenanigans: Granny, Get Your Gun!

Granny Doris, Photo Credit: Tammy Bierman

My Granny Doris, used to be an excellent shot.  She lives on the little cut off road right before you get into Cedar Key, she used to always have passerbyers leaving the bar, who would stop to pee on her flowers.  Being such an incredible gardener, and having such beautiful flowers...well, she didn't appreciate that too much.  Granny, being of sound mind, good aim, and quick temper, got sick of that and started scaring them off....by shooting (not AT them...).

Well, around the time she was 85, she was in the Walmart with my Aunt Tammy.  Aunt Tammy was busy in the grocery section when she heard her name over the loudspeaker being summoned to the sporting goods section.  Y'all, no lie, my Granny had bought herself a gun.  At 85.  Lord help.

This weeks little bit of Sheffield Shenaniganery...Cynthia Kay has put "getting concealed weapons permit" on her bucket list.  A dear friend of ours let us come out and shoot some of his guns to see what she'd like best.  I'll be honest here, I don't know if I should be proud or scared...

I learned a valuable lesson...I can't hit the broad side of a barn.  I did not inherit my Granny Doris' abilities.  Thank God for my tazer.  I swear, the "target" could be 2 feet in front of me, and somehow I'd miss.  After shooting my 4th gun, and still maybe hitting AT the target twice, I was reminded of Lonestar State of Mind, when the doctor says "You said he shot you point blank, son?  Well, that's some sorry damn shootin' if I ever saw it."

Meanwhile, my mother, aka "Cindy the Kid," after a few practice runs, shot one target in the eye, one in the cheek, one shot in the temple, and got in one throat shot.

....Was she a gun slinger in a past life??