Wednesday, March 27, 2019

Sirens


What I will always remember about that day will be the sirens. I am no different than anyone else who was sitting in Trenton that day. Working next to the Courthouse, I was at the epicenter of town…next to the one red light in the County.

Everything happened so quickly. The office scanner erupted with noise. My coworker got a call from her Paramedic husband saying, “lock the office down.” She ran to the door to lock it, as I called the Courthouse to have them do the same. I called my old office, just a few blocks North of us, and had them lock down as well. I called and messaged my loved ones and told them not to come through Trenton. We sat there feeling as sitting ducks, not knowing what was happening just a few blocks from us.

Siren after siren after siren flew past.

A young woman I recognized from church walked up looking lost. I let her in, knowing who she was. She had witnessed a Deputy stop in the road, jump out of his cruiser and take off running towards the chaos.  In the process, he had lost his phone in the road.  She had picked it up and wanted to have it returned to him.  She had been directed to our office.  She asked if she could stay in the office until what was transpiring had cleared. His phone rang and rang.

Sirens continued to flood by.

The first account that came in was that there had been an active shooter at the Sun Stop. Later, after seeing my coworker’s face after receiving a call…I knew the news wasn’t good. I got a message from a friend saying she’d heard cops had been shot at the Ace China. I prayed at that moment that somehow she’d gotten it wrong; and if not, that they were okay.

Sirens were still coming.

Neighboring towns were sending back up.

My stomach was in knots as we sat waiting.

After what seemed like hours, we got the call saying that the shooter had been killed and to shut the office down and go home.

A shooter?  In Trenton?  Even now as I sit writing this--nearly a year later--it seems surreal.

As we walked to our cars, in a daze, a girl we recognized ran past. She was notably upset. My coworker asked if she could help, she continued running towards the Community Center and said “I’ve got to get to her, she doesn’t know!”

Before I got home, my friend called me crying, telling me the names of the cops. She had worked closely with these guys.

I sat back dumbstruck. These two young men had just eaten lunch at our office only weeks before. They had been joking and laughing….so full of life. And now…they’re gone from this world?

I am still so angry. I’m angry that innocent lives were lost.  I'm angry that Noel's wife will have to raise their children without him being here.  I’m angry that Noel’s children will grow up without him. I’m angry that Taylor’s family and friends didn’t get to see him get married or have kids of his own.  I'm angry that their future was robbed from them.

That day, we lost our sense of safety. Something that might would happen in a major city, had happened here in Trenton. Evil took us off guard that day. I’m so angry that in one moment, we lost our Mayberry.

On April 19, 2018, that coward broke our hearts; but even in our grief, he couldn't break our community.

Though the days after were a blur, let me tell you what I witnessed in the aftermath...

No emphasis was put on the coward that did this.  His name was only mentioned a handful of times.  He received no media attention.  The attention was placed on our deputies, where it belonged.  He did not get what he had so craved.

Our community united.  We surrounded our grieving men in uniform, the families, and the friends with love. Our streets were speckled with “We back the blue” signs and “Thin Blue Line” flags.  Blue Ribbons were on nearly every front door.  We gathered together for the candlelight vigil.  Just the thought of the sheer number of people that lined the streets when our boys came home, and during the funeral procession, still puts a lump in my throat.  The funeral procession, itself, was the longest in Florida history...nearly 15 miles long.

The long line of Law Enforcement Officers bringing Noel and Taylor home.  Photo Credit: The Gilchrist County Journal.
Neighboring Counties honored Noel and Taylor the day of the funeral.  Photo Credit: Sara Spivey
In the days after, we celebrated the lives of the men. We honored these men. We cloaked each other in love. We supported each other.  I witnessed several counties send deputies and dispatchers to fill in for our own deputies and dispatchers who were mourning the loss of their colleagues and friends.  I witnessed restaurants feed these neighboring men in uniform at no charge.  What I witnessed was...love.  The richness of our community is something that could never be stolen or shaken by tragedy.

To those of you who have heard of us by only this story, I leave you with this plea:  Let our town not be remembered solely because of this tragedy.  Let us be remembered by how we responded during this tragedy.  Let us be remembered for our love.  Let us be remembered for our unity.  Let our heroes, Noel and Taylor, be remembered...and let their legacy of service and honor and duty live on in your life, as it does in ours.

Sgt. Noel Ramirez and Dep. Taylor Lindsey:  You are heroes and you will never be forgotten.  We will strive to honor your memory.  Rest easy.

 
Sgt. Noel Ramirez and Dep. Taylor Lindsey.  Photo taken from the Gilchrist County Sheriff's Office facebook page.

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I know that I have some followers from different states and different countries...and for those of you who are unfamiliar with this story, let me explain:  Trenton is the county seat of Gilchrist County, Florida.  We are a rural community.  The county has one red light and a population of about 17,000 county-wide.  On April 19, 2018, Noel and Taylor stopped at Ace China to have lunch, while working.  They had just ordered when a man drove past, saw their vehicles, stopped, and went inside.  He ambushed them.  The coward then went back to his vehicle and took his own life.  The coward did not know the deputies personally.  This wasn't an act of retaliation.  This was an act of unadulterated evil.  He was planning on not going home that evening, and he was hellbent on taking innocent lives with him.  April 19, 2018, he took two of our own.  We will forever grieve that loss.

Author’s Note:  There are times when I will sit on a post for months before I actually share it.  This has been the case for “Sirens.”  My heart was purely broken, and I had to wait until I was able to collect my thoughts enough to do it justice.  This is the finished product of about 6 months of planning and writing and re-writing it.

The artwork for "Sirens" was created by my friend, Chris Rogers.

Monday, March 25, 2019

#NoShrinkingViolet

Photo Credit: Jennifer Lazos
When you come from a rural area, it's not uncommon to be asked "Who's your people?" pretty regularly.

For those of you concerned with my pedigree, I want to answer this once and for all:

I come from a long line of strong, willful, badass women.

My Great-Great Grandmother on my Father's side had to restart her whole life after her husband died.  She lived on the Silver Springs reservation with her husband, Joe Darlington, and her three little girls.  Upon Joe's death, she and her girls were kicked off the reservation as they were not full-blooded Seminole Indian.  She restarted her life in a dirt-floored palmetto shack in Cedar Key.

My Great-Grandma Annie was a woman before her time.  Strong, outspoken, and quick-tempered, she was quick to tell someone just what she thought of them.  If there was a cause close to her heart, she would drive around the County collecting...and don't be fooled, she wasn't above strong-arming or shaming a local politician into donating to her cause.  She famously told someone that had high-hatted her "I was the first to slap your naked ass when you were born, and I ain't afraid to whoop it now."

My Great-Grandma Lois lost her mother at an early age and was married at 14.  She had four children.  She became a widow when her youngest was 6, and had to support them all by herself.

My Granny Doris can be found at the local nursing home.  She's sweet as the day is long...but cross her, and she'll give a talkin'-to you won't soon forget.  She looks out for the underdogs, a nurturer at heart.  Loyal to a fault, if she thinks you have done something against someone she loves, you will soon catch her wrath.

My Granny Betty was one of the most loving people you could ever hope to meet.  But if you upset her, she would have you outside huntin' a peach tree switch before you could say "I'm sorry."  She married young, too, and earned her GED at the age of 59; the same year her oldest grandchild earned her High School Diploma.

My mama?  Well...my mama is a saint.  She is funny, witty, smart, sweet, and strong.  She was Valedictorian of her class.  She was the first in her family to get a college degree.  She majored in Micro-biology, not a common field among women.  She battled breast cancer with a vengeance.  When my dad was sick 18 months later?  She was the glue that held us all together.  Her strength is amazing.

If you want to know my pedigree.  That is my pedigree.  This is the blood that runs through my veins.  I am from a long line of strong, willful, sassy, outspoken, smart, revolutionary women.

I will not be quiet.  I will not cower.  I will make my voice be heard.  I am the descendent of great women.

I am no shrinking violet.


Thursday, March 21, 2019

Ghosts


There are some days that I still have to bypass Trenton. I’d like to blame it on the beauty of the live oak lined road that I take to detour, but that wouldn’t be the truth. Your truck is no longer parked out by the road. That absence still bothers me after all this time.

Most days, I have to take the long way around, as driving past your house still puts a lump in my throat. It has sold…it belongs to someone else. Now, it simply sits as a structure with walls built of “what ifs” and a roof made of “could have beens” for me. Some days I wish someone would simply bulldoze it, so it wouldn’t taunt me; but others, I’m thankful for its reminder that you were once here with me.

That’s the thing about living in a small town. When a person leaves, that void is felt. It resonates through the community like the rippling effect of a stone skipping across a pond. Their ghosts still walk the streets, presenting reminders of themselves from time to time; leaving their loved ones longing for more than just a memory.

Tuesday, March 19, 2019

Dear Shitty People Of The World...


At heart, I’m a very forgiving, loving, caring, empathetic person…But I’m becoming increasingly disheartened, as the days go by, with the number of shitty people walking amongst us. At the current time, I’m trying exceedingly hard to not become jaded with this world.

I understand that, unfortunately, I am in a position where I see the very ugly side of people…and that has been a bit of a shock for me. People who I thought were kind, genuine people in the past, are now blatantly surprising me.

I have a few thoughts that I’ve been stewing on.

I am not passive aggressive…I do not do well with snide remarks, or back-handed comments. I’m what I like to call “Aggressive-Aggressive”….I’m pretty in your face. I’m not going to sit around and make catty remarks. I’m going to tell you what I’m feeling. Make me mad? You’ll know it. Upset me? You’ll know it. And I have more respect for someone who comes and says something straightforward instead of making me guess at what you’re beating around the bush about…..

Also, if you have something to say about me…come say it to my face. I hate to sound like a drama-filled, pumped-up middle school girl here…but here’s the deal: I am a 32 year old woman…I do not do well with idle gossip or catty remarks being made about me behind my back. I don’t have time for this nonsense. Got something to say to me? Say it.

Stay in your own damn lane. I pay little mind to what anyone else is doing. I hate to sound flippant, but I just do not care. And if I don’t care what you’re doing, you damn sure don’t need to be bothered up with what I’m doing.

I have ZERO respect for spineless fence-sitters. Take a stance. Take any freakin’ stance. I’ll have more respect for you. But to go back and forth across the fence, never making any decision? Well, I can’t muster up any respect for you. Sorry.

I don’t have room for any of the ones mentioned above in my tribe. I have been on a blocking spree this week with NO remorse. I would rather have a smaller circle than a big circle full of fakes.

Thursday, March 14, 2019

Small Town Shout Out: Down Home Vinyl


As stated in a previous blog, it is my intention to promote my blog more this year. I’m still just a smidge under 75,000 views….and my “goal” this year is to make it to 100,000 views. Again, for those of you who share my blog frequently, thank you. The more who share = the more who see my blog. 


As you guys could probably tell during the holidays…I’m a bit obsessed with finding the perfect gift for someone. In January, with my sister’s birthday rolling around in February, I had a great idea. She has her brand: Rockin’ R Quarter Horses. I got to thinking about it and decided I wanted to have shirts made for Rheba…so that she can advertise her brand.

THEN, I got to thinking about my blog, and how I wanted to start advertising my brand too. I ordered some shirts from Torrid that I knew were the perfect fit, and contacted Lisa Carver. 


You guys! All of my shirts turned out adorable! Lisa took so much time perfecting each shirt. I am in love with the way they all turned out!!

Y’all, check her work out on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/downhomevinyl/


Wednesday, March 13, 2019

Words of Wisdom Wednesday


I was perusing either Facebook, or Instagram, the other night and stumbled across this.  Having just walked away from something myself, this struck a chord with me...

If a situation does not grow you, better you, uplift you, or make you happy... I pray that you have the courage to walk away.  Typically, there is something much better waiting for you just around the bend.

Tuesday, March 12, 2019

Love Me, But Leave Me Wild


I will never fit a certain mold. I was not made to conform to a certain brand of thinking. I was not meant to follow along with the groupthink mentality. I am far too much of an individual for that.

My parents did not raise me to bow down to another based on status or titles. They raised me to do what was right, not what is popular. They taught me to stand up for those who can’t speak for themselves. They gave me my voice, they gave me my courage, they gave me confidence.

My thoughts…my beliefs…my actions…they are all my own. I am an individual first and foremost. I follow my intuition, creativity, and discernment; and trust in prayer to lead me down my journey’s path.

I will never be what society expects me to be.

Love me, but leave me wild.

Monday, March 11, 2019

Just A Girl Missing Her Thyroid


Okay, so lately, I've had a few people ask questions, and I want to address something to bring a little bit of public awareness to it.

In 2014, I was diagnosed with Graves Disease.  This is an auto-immune disorder that attacks your thyroid.  Many people have thyroid issues....many people have problems with their thyroid not working properly.  I'm no different.  Where most people struggle with their thyroid not working enough, mine was working OVERTIME.

At the time I was diagnosed, I had dropped 60+ pounds in a matter of months. My thyroid was working SO well...it was affecting my heart too.  My resting heart rate was at around 130-140 beats per minute.  The doctor was concerned with arrhythmia.  He said that my heart could not continue to beat that fast for a long period of time without running into major issues.  He sent me to an endocrinologist, and after testing and an ultrasound, it was determined that I had Graves Disease.

On a side note...at the time around my diagnosis, I could've run a marathon.  I would be up at 2 a.m. with my mind running rampant, and be up and ready to go to work at 5 a.m. the next day....this had gone on for months.  I always liken it to what I would assume a person on speed would feel like.  I was literally buzzing.  The funny thing is...when the doctor came in the day of the diagnosis...she said "You can almost always tell when a person has Graves Disease.  They almost have a buzz to them."  She went on to make me straighten my arms out in front of me, and you could visibly see my hands and fingers shaking.  It was the craziest thing.

The cure for Graves Disease is either surgery to remove the thyroid, or killing your thyroid with Radioactive Iodine.  We chose the latter, and the less invasive of the two.  After a 10 day stint on a "no-iodine diet" (which liketa killed me...Do you know how many items have iodine in them??! I basically survived on homemade popcorn, and salads)  I went into the hospital, and was given a pill containing the Radioactive Iodine.

It has been 4.5 years since the treatment, and it's still a bit of a battle with blood tests and tinkering with medicine to keep my levels normal.  I have a great doctor and PA that I see every three months.  I will be on medicine the rest of my life, but I am blessed.

I tell you all of the backstory to tell you this....there are still some things that I struggle with daily:

Brain fog.  The doctor said that for some reason one of the common complaints among people with thyroid issues is problems with memory and focus.  This is absolutely true!  It's something I struggle with daily.  I am so thankful to have a coworker who can remember everything and who is understanding.  I often can't remember from one week to the next, and she helps me daily keep things in check.

Energy.  There are some days when I am full of energy and can go go go....and then...I crash.  And I can almost always tell when it's going to happen.  It's a different kind of tired.  My body just drains.  That's the best way I can describe it.  My whole body gets tired, and I may have to rest a whole weekend to recover.

My Immune System is compromised.  I have never in my life gotten sick as much as I have in the past 4.5 years.  I seem to get sick at the drop of a hat.  So, if I act funny around you or request space from you if you have the sniffles, please don't get offended.  I get sick extremely easy.  It also takes me a lot longer to get over it than normal people.  A common cold can have me down for two weeks.

I struggle with temperature.  This is a biggie.  And many people don't understand.  When I get hot, I am HOT.  It is like my blood is boiling on a pot on Satan's stove top.  I can't cool off.  It is an inner heat that I can't cool.  And when I'm cold, I am freezing.  There is no in-between.  It is not uncommon for me to have my fan on high in the morning at my office, and my space heater on 86 degrees later that afternoon.  And yes, it's nuts.  I just ask for a little patience and understanding.

Anyways...if you see me fanning away like some Southern Belle at a Funeral, or dragging butt one day,...or unable to remember what I was saying mid-sentence.... just be a little understanding.

Thursday, March 7, 2019

Chocolate Cream Pie Murder


Joann Fluke, writer of the Hannah Swensen series, and my favorite “cozy mystery” writer, has done it again, y’all…

I cannot even express to you guys my excitement upon the mail run last Friday. I truly am a lover of the little things...

I’d been awaiting the new book since the last book release last September (she typically releases 2 books a year), anxiously anticipating the progression of the story. Fail me, she did not.

And now, here I sit, anxiously awaiting the next book release…having devoured this one this past weekend. This one ended on such a cliffhanger, I am dying to know what happens next.

The Hannah Swensen series is such a fun, easy read. I just love them. I’d never wanted to visit Minnesota, but after having read this series, and having loved the people depicted in these books, I am now longing to go….even though it’s Winter, and covered in blankets of snow.

Friday, March 1, 2019

Florida Water


So, I don’t want to talk about my full-time job on here. For the most part, I may make mention of it, but I like to keep work life and bloggin’ life separate.

I’m like anyone, I have good and bad days at work. But we have had quite a bit of what I like to call “bad juju” as of late, so I’ve been thinking on how best to resolve this.

Now, I know my coworkers, and I knew I would raise a few eyebrows if I brought in my sage or palo santo. Also, it would be my luck, some of the ashes would fall and burn down our building…as it is wooden and nearly 100 years old. So, sage and palo santo were out.

And then I got to thinking….

I had recently acquired some Florida Water from my friend Beth at Wildling Artistry. I was a smidge concerned using this as well, as I had nearly sent a coworker into an asthma attack before by spraying Lysol. She is extremely sensitive to even the slightest of scents. Given that the Florida Water spray has notes of cinnamon, I just wasn’t sure how it would go over.

Y’all….I am absolutely in LOVE with using the Florida Water. While it does have a slight cinnamon scent, it is wonderful. It’s not overpowering. It’s very mild. I only sprayed it in our department’s area to test it out. I could tell a huge difference from just walking from the back of the building back into our office. The air felt clean, and the energy just felt lighter.

I love this product. I think I’m going to leave this bottle here…and maybe pick up another for my house.

Interested in this product? https://www.etsy.com/listing/665436684/florida-water-spritual-cleansing-spray?ref=shop_home_active_2&frs=1