Mama Says Monday: "I got some 'splainin' to do

Have you ever seen those t-shirts at Christmas that say “Santa, I can explain”? This past week my daughter posted a picture of me sitting in my new rocking chair, in my favorite camo skort, with my slippers on. I feel the need to explain myself. 

First, about the skort. It is the most comfortable one that I have ever made. Both girls hate it. Rheba swears the camo print must be from the sixties. Apparently the skort would be a little more acceptable if it were in a “real tree” print. At least that might put me in the last decade. I keep telling them that everybody can’t be as fashion forward as I am. Rheba promises to throw it away if she ever finds it and I’m not wearing it. I can’t let her do that because I’m gonna need it when they put me in “the home.” You know that old styles come back. I figure about that time that print may come back in style and it will make me the “hottie” at the home. At least, that is my plan.

Secondly, about them boots. I have to admit, they are stolen boots. Rheba is the cowgirl. They were her boots, given to her a couple of years ago at Christmas. I have never been cold-natured, but this year my feet are always cold. So, when I went searching the house for slippers, I found her boots. Since she hadn’t worn them much, and they fit me, I confiscated them. And my cold feet have appreciated them. Now one would think that Rainbow leopard print cowboy boot slippers would coordinate with most any outfit. It seems most unfortunate that I have nothing that will match them. So being the fashion diva that I am, I wear them with my camo skirt that I have no shirt that matches. Makes sense to me, like adding two negatives to get a positive.

Like I said, not everybody can be as fashion forward as I am, but I just hope the look catches on pretty fast, so the girls will quit laughing at me and allow me to go out in public again.