Weekend Adventures

I’d hoped that Mama would do her post today, but bless her heart, she’s caught a bad stomach bug.

Being slightly unprepared for today’s post, I wanted to tell y’all a little about my weekend.

So y’all, my life as of late is never boring. This weekend was no different….

Friday night, I went over to my friend Lanie’s to help her get ready to move. We started packing boxes, and soon realized that we were nearly out of tape. That wouldn’t do. So, off we ventured to Satan’s Playground….The Walmart. We got what we needed and got out fairly quickly, even if Lanie did use the Self-checkout under my disapproving eye. –It is still BEYOND ME why there needs to be 6 “supervising cashiers” in the self-checkout, meanwhile only 2 normal checkout lanes are open. I’m sticking with my stance on boycotting the self-checkout.—Regardless of Walmart politics, we get out of there…

I have, and will say again, that I am not the best driver in the world. Lord only knows. Perhaps there is a reason that John Skelly had a barf bag planted in my car. Well, leaving The Walmart, I nearly killed poor Lanie. I saw the green light, and nearly plowed through the light, not realizing that what I had NEEDED to see was the green arrow. We were nearly creamed by oncoming traffic, leaving the Winn Dixie.

We finally make it back to Lanie’s unscathed, when she starts frantically digging through her purse. She says “Don’t tell me I locked us out of the house…” After thoroughly searching to no avail, she shrugs and says she’ll just go in the back door as it’s never locked. She walks into the backyard, I hear her scream as her dog nips at her. Then, amongst some colorful language, she says that for once her kids have heeded her advice and locked the door. We call everyone we can think of. I even call Rheba to see if she knows of anyone that can break into a house that is within say a 10 mile radius. Lanie starts checking windows.

FINALLY, she finds an unlocked window. She shimmies it open. Realizes that her petite stature will not solely get her hoisted into that window. Finds a cooler, props it underneath the window. Walks backwards, gets a running start, uses the cooler to jump off of, and this is what ensues…

In the madness of the packing, we find a mask. We each have a turn. You know, to liven up the situation.

Saturday rolls around, I go to our monthly hen party. Gossiping and card-making and catching up at its finest. I so enjoy my time with those sweet ladies. And mom had some beautiful cards planned for us this month.

After the craziness of the Friday night “moving party,” Lanie and I had decided that we needed a little fun. Off we went to Crystal River for dinner and a movie. Cody’s was packed as usual. But we were seated fairly quickly. And y’all, if we weren’t seated at the right time, I don’t know what. We were seated in the booths directly across the bar. I look up from my menu and I see something that can be described as “a whole lot of look” walking up to the bar. Y’all….she had to be mid-50s, was rocking 80s band hair, had her makeup caked on, was wearing a skin tight pleather corset, a skirt you could sneeze in and expose yourself, and fishnet stockings held up with garters. Oh. My. Word. Y’all. I have no idea how the servers waited on her while keeping a straight face.

We went and saw that Amy Schumer/Goldie Hawn movie “Snatched.” After spending two hours of our lives in that theater, I can will all assurance tell you why Amy Schumer and Goldie Hawn thanked the patrons for seeing their movie before the movie. That movie, while it had funny parts, was a waste of $11. Overall, it was ridiculous. And some of the funniest scenes were because of the minor roles played by Wanda Sykes and Joan Cusack.

Regardless, it was time well spent with one of my dearest friends.

After all of the excitement, I had laundry, a Modern Family binge, and my book “Chocolate Chip Cookie Murder” to keep me busy the rest of the weekend.

I hope that you all had a wonderful weekend as well.