When Reality Crushes the Vision You Had In Your Head

So, I’ve recently become obsessed with the Facebook and Youtube sensation, “Mr. Cian Twomey.” Now, iffin’ you decide to look him up, and you have children, I would HIGHLY recommend not watching his videos while your children are within earshot. You will laugh, but they will quickly learn some new four-letter words. 

In real life, he has a girlfriend named Emily. But in many of his videos he plays Emily AND himself. One of his recent videos struck a chord with me…it was about ordering clothes online. 

How many times have we ordered something online and it not been what we thought? We have this glorious image in our heads of how we will look in something…and we get it…and we’re a little awestruck on how awful it really is. 

My friend Jenn is coming down next month, and I’m having more photos done. This time, we are going to do something different, and have an outdoor shoot. I’m pretty excited! So, I had this image in my head of wearing a corset and a big flowy skirt. In mentioning it to Jenn, she asked me “Have you seen the Mr. Pretty Skirts?” Well, I had to take a look…

Photo taken from Ebay.  Isn't this beautiful?  This isn't either of the skirts that I ordered, but the skirts were beautiful.

I. Fell. In. Love. They were beautiful. Very bridal or formal, but so beautiful. I quickly ordered two, with only a moment’s hesitation because they were made in China (only because of the length of shipping time). One full red tulle skirt, that I would pair with a denim shirt. And one mint colored with an ivory chiffon overlay to pair with my rose gold corset. I had a vision. 

I compulsively tracked my shipments. And when the first arrived in a small package…I thought, “Hmmmm….” I opened the package and found they must have vacuum sealed that sucker. One rip through the plastic container and that thing was bustin’ out of there like the Hulk. Now, I will mention here that I ordered RED. It came in a champagne color. The color was nowhere near what I had ordered. And while it wasn’t what I’d ordered, it was doable. I wasn’t about to ship it back because of the color. I could work with it. 

It wasn’t made how I had envisioned either, really. Having a knowledge of sewing, and from the picture of my order…I thought that while the skirt had an elastic waist, it would have had multiple skirt layers of tulle. It wound up being strips, hand knotted to the elastic piece. You know, like on many a’ four-year-old girl Halloween costumes. 

I ran into the living room, eager to try it on…I jacked the dress I had been wearing up to my armpits, and pulled that skirt on….

Y’all, never have I ever heard my mama laugh that hard. She had tears rolling down her face. That skirt seemed to grow the longer I was wearing it. I tried to fluff the tulle to make it better, but it seemed to just keep growing. I felt like…had I kept it on much longer, the thing would have swallowed me whole.  

This skirt is taking up 3/4 of a King Size Bed.  Fluffy?  This skirt wrote the book on "fluffy." 

I know…I know…it was $50+ down the drain, but that day, all I could do was laugh. It was the wrong color, not made how I thought, and I surely didn’t look like the model on the website. All I could do was laugh until my belly hurt. 

One of my dear friends had been wanting a tulle skirt, so I gave it to her. And Lord knows, if anyone can pull it off, it’s her. She loved it. 

**I will say, my second skirt came in, and it’s just fabulous. I love it. The color was right, and it is perfect. Y’all will see it soon :) I’m thinking the tulle skirt might have just been a fluke.**