A Testament

This morning, I considered writing this post, but quickly thereafter doubt and worry set in. After having all of my social media sites watched and scrutinized last year, I have held-fast to my privacy. I could live my whole life without again being the subject of gossip.

So, why am I sitting here typing away on my laptop, you ask? 

As I had decided not to write this, I came home to a package from a dear soul sister, Mrs. Liisa Collins tonight.  This wonderful woman has encouraged me since I was 9 years-old.  She has been an absolute blessing in my life.  She didn’t realize it...but the package that she sent was confirmation that I needed to write and post this. More about how that sweet lady ties in later.

In January of last year, I found myself terribly unhappy.  I won’t delve too much into it, but I was in a bad situation where I found myself constantly walking on eggshells.  He could be sweet on occasion, but he could be terribly mean and hurtful. With every text or call, I began to brace myself because I was never sure what I would get.

At this same time, I HATED my job.  There were a few sweet souls that were my only saving grace there. I wasn’t SO sure about my safety. I had been threatened with a pipe bomb.  I had someone literally come in and throw a bucket across the room at us.  I got yelled at daily by irate customers.  And we had very little support.  I absolutely hated it. 

I was out of church. I had a difficult time finding my place after the real “college and career”-age class.  I never felt like I could find a fit in church after that.  

I was deeply unhappy.

I tell you that, to set the tone.  So that you can fully understand the gravity of the chain of events this past year.

In January 2019, one Sunday when I just flat did not want to be at home alone when she went to church, I asked if I could just join Mom’s Sunday School class.  The Joy Sunday School class is a group of women around 50-70 years-old. That same Sunday I went to Church and to her Life Group “The Eclectic Group” (ages 45-80ish).  Now, I’m going to tell you what...the older folks?  Those are just my people.  I somehow found my place in the midst of those groups.

From 2016 to 2019, I had walked away from the aforementioned situation/relationship/whatever-you-want-to-call-it, and been drawn back in time and again.  In late January/early February of 2019, I walked away for good. I had prayed about it and knew this was the right move.  It would never grow me...and it would never be an ideal situation for me.

Though my parents had always tithed, and I had when I was younger, y’all know that I’m hardheaded.  It took me a hot minute to get back into the swing of tithing.  But in March, I began diligently tithing.  Ironically enough, along with being hardheaded, I am an infamous procrastinator....I didn’t actually file my taxes until March. (this comes into play in just a sec). 

On April 1st, when I learned that my direct supervisor was leaving, and I knew that I had to do something.  My mom told me about a position at my current company.  I applied on April 4th.  Completed questionnaires that weekend.  

On Monday, April 8th, I was fired over an Instagram post involving politics.  I was blindsided, but not one tear was shed.  That afternoon, I received a call from the HR Department of my current company requesting an interview on April 9th.  On April 10th, I was offered my position.  A company whose mission I believe in.  I was set to start on April 15th.

In reference to my tithing/late tax file?  The same week I was fired...I received my last paycheck, payment for my accrued PTO, and my tax refund.  Through the very short gap from my last paycheck to my first paycheck, I had that money to get me by. God is good.

I would love to say that the rest of the year was filled with sunshine and rainbows.  But there have been hard days too.  There have been days that I have cried the whole way home from work.  There have been days when I sorely missed my friends from my old job.  There have been times when I braced myself when checking my phone.  

I would love to say I'm the perfect Christian...but Lord knows, y'all...I'm not.  I fail DAILY.

This past Fall, I asked some very close ladies that I trusted to begin praying for me.  Mrs. Liisa Collins being one of them.  I had some specific prayer requests.  There were some things I needed to get through.  And while, I am not there just yet...I am getting there.

There is nothing greater than feeling like you are exactly where you need to be. I had faith (sometimes just the smallest smidge) that God would see me through, and y’all...He has seen me through. I believe this past year of my life has stood as a testament to that.

I hope that whoever finds themselves reading this will have faith that God will see you through the trying times.  Trials don't last forever.  I hope that you take time to see your daily blessings.  And if ever you need someone to pray for you, I am only a message away.