Mama Says Monday: "Mama Can't Dance!"

Do you pay attention to the commercials on TV? How stupid some of them are? You know, if you take a certain medicine you just dance along in life. Well, guess what? I take that medicine and this Mama can’t dance! I’ve never ordered home furnishings from Wayfair, but I would be so disappointed if I couldn’t “bust a move.”

And I use Sparkle paper towels, and surprisingly, my kitchen doesn’t sparkle. I sure wish that fairy would show up in my house, and plan to work. However, I certainly hope that the grandma who turns into the big bad wolf, doesn’t show up. She’s a bit scary. I suppose whooping cough is serious, so it gets the point across. But have you noticed that with the whooping cough (all my life it was pronounced “hooping cough”) now the “w” is pronounced.

And while I’m on my rant about pronunciation, when did the Jaguar car start to be pronounced “Jagua”. I guess it’s a good thing I can’t afford one, because I would forget to call it a “Jagua.” I actually watched part of an animal special on TV, just so I could see if that cat was still pronounced jaguar with an “r.” And it was. 

Have you gone to the bathroom and looked around for toys that have their eyes open, looking at you. Thank goodness I no longer have small kids with toys. However, Rheba has a gator head in their bathroom. Maybe I’m just becoming paranoid.

Then there’s the lady who lives in the town of Keister. Okay, so she’s comfortable talking about her town. But isn’t it crazy for her to expect me to get comfortable talking about my keister??

Like I said, this Mama don’t dance. And no amount of medicine (or alcohol, furniture or anything else) is going to make me look like Ginger Rogers or Beyonce.