Jenny Nicole (Bierman) Rowland

I remember standing in line to greet friends and family at my dad’s viewing.  Rheba’s FFA advisor walked up to me, looking confused, and asked “I didn’t realize you had another sister.”  She saw the confusion on my face when I answered “No….just Rheba?” and said “There is a girl walking around who looks just like you.”

A few months after that, after I had shown my behind over some grave injustice at a nursing home, I found out that our similar looks had again confused someone.  This time, poor Jenny had caught the wrath that should have been hurled at me.  Whoops. 

I’ve often thought that I had more Watson and Arrington features in my looks.  Many of us have the dark hair and dark eyes.  But then came Jenny.

Jenny is one of the sweetest, most genuine people you will ever meet.  Her personality reminds me of an upbeat cheerleader.  You can’t help but laugh when she is around.  Given her positivity and optimism, one would never realize how much she has overcome in the last few years.

To sum her up:  She is the mother of the fabulous Miss Scarlett Grace Rowland, and self-proclaimed “Mamarazzi.”  She is the Army wife of Clay Rowland.  The dog mama to Lola and Ozzy.  And that is just the tip of the iceburg.  I am so incredibly proud of the woman that she is, and blessed to call her my cousin.

Jenny Nicole Rowland

What is your full name? 

“Jenny Nicole Rowland, but I like to be called Princess.”

How did you get your name? 

“Well... my parents couldn't decide on a name. My mom wanted ‘Scarlett’ after Gone With the Wind, and my dad wanted ‘Dallas’ after them Cowboys. My sister settled the debate with ‘Jenny’ which worked out because my Great-Grandmother (on Dad's side) was named Jenny. But.... I did just find out, like this past year, that she wasn't a nice lady so...that's awesome.”

Did you have any nicknames? 

“‘Jenny B.,’ ‘Beestack’ is what dad always called me, ‘J-Nasty’ is what the homies call me lol.”

When/Where were you born? 

“September 2, 1993 in Gainesville FL.  I think N. Florida Regional.”

Jenny and her dad, Jay Bierman

Best memories of your Father? 

“Probably him letting us dress him up; wrestling; and piggyback rides.  Him shouting ‘ZotPocket,’ and playing basketball in the driveway with him.”

Jenny and her mom, Tammy Bierman

Best memories of your Mother? 

“I love how mom used to build the best forts...she is awesome at DIY and school projects and just so detail-oriented. I loved Halloween time with mom, too, because her and dad always went all-out. I think sharing a love for Gone With the Wind will always be special for mom and I too.”

What did you want to be when you grew up? 

“An artist.”

How do you remember holidays growing up? 

“I'll say it now, I'll say it always--my parents are amazing and gave me an amazing childhood. I'm very fortunate. They always went above and beyond.  Christmas throws up all over the house. Mom loves snowmen. We do Elf on The Shelf for the kids now. Mom would even decorate the bathroom. Halloween--both mom and dad would dress up and mom and I would decorate the yard with super cool themes. Holidays have always just been a blast.” 

What was your favorite food that your mother/father made? 

“Okay, dad has only ever cooked like hamburger helper or spaghetti or like, pre-made lasagna for us, and I'm just glad I didn't die from like food poisoning or something, hahaha.   Mom makes super bomb chicken parm that literally everyone begs us to make for them (she taught me how to make it and it's a big hit).”

What was your first job? 

“Dishwasher at Robinson's Seafood.”

What does “Small Town Life” mean to you? 

“That you better behave or else you'll be talk of the town. hahaha. But seriously, I think it has an undeniable sense of community and caring. Everyone waves, everyone knows everyone... it's easygoing. Clay always laughed cause I can find anyone to talk to. The first time I brought him to CK he said ‘Oh man, I had no idea I was dating a celebrity!’ Haha.”

Jenny and Clay Rowland

Where did you meet your spouse? 

“We met through POF.  He's my fish. He sent a message that said ‘hey, you're cute.’ And I liked the proper use of ‘you're.’ Haha. We met up in person at my place in Orlando after about a week of talking nonstop (I'm good at that).”

What was the first thing that you noticed about him/her? 

“Probably the fact that he was hilarious. Very easy going but very funny.  He tried to ‘guess’ my phone number and said ‘oh, I'm surprised it's not 8675309.’ Went right over my head... when it finally clicked, I couldn't stop laughing. I thought he was just some weirdo for trying to guess my number. Haha.”

When did you know that they were the one? 

“He showed up with a case of beer the first time we met in person and I just knew we were off to a fun start. We also jokingly tell people that it was ‘love at first fart’ because in the early days of us hanging out, I fell asleep on him while watching a movie and I farted.... When I woke up, he told me. I was sort of embarrassed and laughed and asked if it was loud or something. He was like ‘Nah, not really.’ A few weeks later he was like ‘that fart I told you about, it was freaking huge. You ripped ass. I felt relieved for you.’ Hahahaha. He didn't want to embarrass me further with that detail. I swear. But clearly I knew we could be comfortable with one another once that fart was out of the way.”

Clay and Jenny on their wedding day.

Tell me about your wedding.

“Clay came home from the recruiting office on Monday (he had been starting the process of enlisting) and he said ‘so uh, the recruiters said we should get married this weekend if we plan on getting hitched within the next 4 years. Paperwork is a bitch so you game?’ Hahaha! And Clay makes me embrace my impulsive side. I knew I loved him then, I'd love him always. So I said ‘let's do it!’  But let me just say, we didn’t just get married because the Army said we should.  It was definitely a ‘sooner or later’ thing...and sooner just came upon us quick.  But I wouldn’t have it any other way.  I just knew he was all I wanted.  He’s my best friend and I’ve never loved someone like I love him.  We got married that weekend at the park in town. All he wanted was a tuxedo t-shirt so of course that's what he got.  He's so handsome. Even in something that silly.  He actually helped roll my dreads before we got hitched.  haha.  I thought that was a funny memory for sure...because I had freaking dreads.  And his mom surprised us by passing down the rings his dad had given her...I was so confused when he put that on my finger.  Lol.  It was the sweetest thing and they’re very special to us.”

How many years have you been married? 

“This October it'll be 4 years.”

What is the key to a happy marriage? 

“Booze. Haha. Just kidding. I think respect and openly talking goes a long way... and just trying to always work as a team.” 

Jenny and Clay at the Gender Reveal Party

What were your memories of expecting your first baby? 

“Well Scarlett is actually a rainbow baby. I knew since I was 15 that having kids may not of been a possibility for me, and Clay knew that before we got married. I miscarried twins at Christmas of 2014. A rainbow baby is one that comes after the storm of a loss. That loss was very hard on us because Clay was in South Korea (I got pregnant right before he left. Had no clue. Found out once he was already over there.).”

“When I found out I was pregnant with Scarlett, we had been sort of talking more about getting things in order to start the adoption process because I just didn't think we'd be having our own baby...I remember crying cause I didn't believe it and Clay kept saying "I told you. I knew you were pregnant. I told you." Haha.  At least once a day, the entire pregnancy, I'd look at Clay and squeal and tell him we were having a baby. Haha.”

“Every week that went by was a little victory. There was some rough moments but the day we heard her heartbeat, we both cried.”

Jenny and Miss Scarlett Grace Rowland

“I remember Clay wouldn't let me near the baby dept because he knew I was ready to buy half the store.” 

“We found out Mother's Day weekend that it was a girl. He had a brief moment of disappointment flash across his face followed by a big grin because it was our little Scarlett. He knew I was dying to have a girl and I never shut up about how she'd be a daddy's girl.”

“I cried over stretch marks behind my knees. Had no clue I'd get those there. I cried over worrying the dogs would feel forgotten. Hahaha. I remember the last 20ish days, I was so uncomfortable and every night I'd say ‘X more days! I can do this!’  I remember crying when clothes didn't fit. And constantly asking if I was pretty. Hahaha.”

“Clay and I used to crack up cause Scarlett would hiccup all the time. And she was breech so you could feel her big ol' head. HAHAHA.  It poked out.”

“I was so excited about her birthday being halloween.”

Miss Scarlett Grace Rowland

If you could sum Miss Scarlett up in one word, what would it be? 

“Precious. Everything about her is just absolutely precious.  After she was born, all I could say was ‘she's so cute.’ But she truly is just beyond precious.”

What has been your proudest moment as a parent? 

“I have a few so far... I think my first true day on my own--just Scarlett and I--it felt like I knew I could get through it all and she was in such a good mood and made it better.

I was proud of Clay from day one but I didn't feel proud of myself until I realized I could do this. I know the day we had to send him off, she was sooo good. She slept and didn't fuss at all that day. She typically is a great baby and Clay says it's because she knows I'm trying my best for the both of us. I think the first time I realized she was looking for me and smiled when I came up to her, that was something I'll never forget.”

Jenny, Clay, and Miss Scarlett Grace days after she was born.

What has been your hardest moment as a parent? 

“Probably having to watch Clay leave her behind. It was just hard because I hated knowing he was going to miss so much and I was terrified to be doing this without him. Scarlett also has a milk protein intolerance and when trying to find the right formula for her, I'd just cry every time I had to change her dirty diapers because I knew her little stomach was a mess and I was doing the best I could but it was just such a process and she'd still be happy but I felt like I wasn't doing a good job... after the c-section, I felt very useless and that was exhausting too. Your hormones are crazy and here I was, barely able to take care of myself... I just kept telling Clay I wanted to be supermom because he was such a rockstar from day one.”

What do you wish you had known when you were younger? 

“In general? Probably that the sooner you learn to love yourself and to be independent, the easier it is to get over people's bullshit. Haha.” 

If you had one do-over in your life, what would it be? 

“Probably just a blanket idea of not wasting so much time on people undeserving of my kindness... and maybe trying to not stress so badly.  I'd probably try to re-approach some conflicts and handle them better as well. But, live and learn. No point in worrying at this point, just gotta move up and out.” 

Jenny and Miss Scarlett

What bit of advice do you wish someone would’ve given you when you were younger?

“I guess maybe something about realizing just how important each day is. I think being a military spouse and now being a parent myself, I really have a good sense of how important time truly is. I try to cherish every day that I can with Scarlett because she's growing before my eyes and with Clay because I knew that deployment was inevitable.”

What advice would you give a young person? 

“Try your best to find at least one thing about each day that made you happy. Even if it's a little thing. Be kind. Be kind to others and be kind to yourself. And never apologize for who you are (unless you're an asshole. lol).”

In your words, what is the key to happiness?

“Good vibes. Good tunes, good people, good food, good booze, good laughs. People say don't sweat the small stuff and I struggle so much with that because I'm very observant. I'm so detail-oriented... but although I sometimes sweat the small stuff, I appreciate the hell out of the good little moments that each day brings. That's why I say you have to always be able to find one good thing about each day. That is how you find happiness.  Also, love courageously. That is so so important. This world really needs more love. Smile and wave at children, pet all the dogs, hug your friends and family. Just put good into the world and you will find happiness.”

What do most people not realize about military life? 

“Well, probably that these men and women are paid dirt and they take on so much both mentally and physically.... Like... dirt pay. Hahaha. I hate that people think it's great pay. LOL.”

“Ummm, I also don't think that they realize it's really its own way of life.. I know that some of my dad's family don't know many who are in the service... they were just so intrigued and just, awestruck over all that comes with this lifestyle. I remember they asked Clay (in regards to basic training) ‘So you shot a gun!? Was it scary!?’”

What was the hardest thing you have faced as a military wife? 

“The goodbyes are pretty tough... Um, Clay hit a really low point.. I'm sure it happens in other scenarios, other jobs.. but it was extremely tough to watch the love of your life hit rock bottom while they're on the other side of the world. It's tough because you already don't know how to help them and you can tell they're so lost but you can't do much of anything...but worry.  I promised him that after his enlistment, I will never let him hit rock bottom and be lost and alone like that ever again. I won't let him be so miserable and broken down.”

Best thing? 

“The homecomings! The friendships. God, I love our friends so much. I would've never met such great people if it weren't for the military. I also love the sense of pride. No matter how much bullshit we've been put through, I will always be so proud and thankful for my husband's service. I never wanted this lifestyle but I do love this country and I'm glad I married someone who wanted more for his future and wanted to do good while trying to better his future. It's admirable and I'm glad I've been alongside him for the crazy ride.”

You have faced two deployments; how do you prepare for/get through during these times? 

“Lawdddd. Well, it's called ‘embracing the suck.’ With South Korea, I met this kick-ass group of gals--my tribe. We are the troublemaker tribe. They are my girls for life. You have to stay busy, find good support, and be flexible for phone calls at crazy hours. My Korean Struggle gals, my tribe... they have always given me so much support. This time around, I have a few gal pals that I get lunch with here and there and have baby play dates with. I actually bought a sander today and I'm going to stay busy with some DIY projects. I have Scarlett to keep me going and I like going out for walks or grabbing food with friends. You just have to make the best of it. Most importantly--you call your mama. Always.”

“Also, I usually try to record Clay singing a song in the car, acting like a dumbass, like shortly before he leaves.  On shitty days I’ll watch it and crack up.  The last time, he sang ‘Hooked on a Feeling’ and the video is hilarious. And the night before/day of…I typically cry but try really hard not to.  I lose my shit in the car after he’s gone. But letting myself do that seems to get that huge wave out of the way so I’m just left with little sad days here and there.  I’ve gotta rip the bandaid and then embrace the suck.  We skype at least once a week.  I start getting upset if it’s longer than a week.  We text every day.  I have a clock on my phone that tells me the time difference because I suck with time.”

“A lot of people have little traditions.  Like when we get off Skype, I make him blow a kiss. Haha.  We usually get steak or go to Hooters before he leaves/right when he gets home.”

“And I love care packages.  I love decorating boxes and sending stuff, even though he says he doesn’t need it usually.  I like trying to make sure he knows he’s on my mind.  And I send stuff for buddies too.  I always tell him; you just don’t know if someone has no support or if they’re just having a shitty day.  So, like, at Christmas…I made an extra little “stocking” for him to give someone that may have been having a rough time.  A lot of these folks are young, they don’t have good family support.  Most aren’t married and the ones who are, are newlyweds or struggling really bad…things like that.  I just always welcome anyone and everyone and I do what I can for the ones who have no one.”

What are your future plans? 

“November of this year, Clay's enlistment ends (not like I'm counting down or anything!), we will be moving back to the sunshine state and hopefully buying a house in the near future. Clay really wants to get an IT job because he's a huge nerd. He wants to play in some video game tournaments too.  I'm enjoying mom life. I honestly can't wait to make more mom friends and to go to like birthday parties and stuff.   Mom life is the shit. Hahaha. I can't wait to watch Scarlett become a little person. She amazes me every day. I jokingly plan on being a tiger mom so I'm putting in major work to have a prodigy here. Hahaha. But, I know Clay and I sort of agreed that, until Scarlett was pre-school age, we want for me to just focus on helping her be the best little princess. I look forward to teaching her so much. Afterwards, I may try to find some PR work to get into or some type of work that allows me to utilize my degree. I really hope to make some time for volunteering. I want to show Scarlett it's important to give your time and make a difference in the world.”