Different

My name is Aleta Kaylee and that is quite extraordinary. Not very many people carry that name. My blood type is AB negative, which is very rare in itself. I am the universal receiver, and maybe that says something about me; and then again, maybe it doesn’t. I am an insomniac, and many of my best and worst ideas come to me after the clock strikes midnight. 

I look like my mom's side. I have dark hair and dark eyes, a typical trait in the Watson and Arrington line. I happen to love my eyes...they are brown but they sometimes take on a reddish tone in different light. I kind of love that.

I write what I can, because, for some unknown reason, I was blessed with the power of words. They fill my mind daily. Better put, most days, they consume me, actually. 

I hear voices pretty regularly. Not in a Dissociative Disorder type of way, but characters from books I’ve read, books I’ve imagined, people I’ve met, characters I’ve seen on tv or in movies, characters from my own stories. They all speak to me, and it is up to me to know how to use them.

I am probably one of the most honest, intelligent, caring, outgoing, indecisive, overanalyzing, reclusive people that you will ever meet. And I say that not to be cocky, but perhaps because I’m a Leo, and that’s just how we are?

I am very fortunate to have the friends that I do. I look towards some friends when I need help, advice and/or acceptance. I lean on others when I am desperately needing sanity. I lean on some when I need enabling, and just that little push to go wild for a little while.

I am a smart girl. And I’m passionate. I can be feisty and fiery. I care far too much; I give far too much. And I will always be that girl. I think sometimes that intimidates people. At least, I’ve been told that a time or two. I don’t understand that, but it is what it is. It is something I’m unable to change about myself.

I am an educated woman, and my vocabulary is fairly extensive, but some of my very favorite words are obscenities. Very rarely I use them angrily, though. Many times, they are used in a funny story.

I’m doomed in love. I always fall for the asshole. Always. Young guy, old guy, always the asshole. If you’re a complete and utter jerk to me, I will love you forever. And that is how it goes. Always.

That being said, I have met the great love of my life. And let me just say, we never, ever could have ever EVER made it work if that had even been an option. We were very much the same, we knew each other’s ins and outs, we understood each other, and we respected each other....and when we got along, it was great....and when we didn't...the gates of Hell opened.

I identify as Obsessive Compulsive regularly. I am highly ritualistic. I crave “steadfast” and “unchanging.” 

I often dress up when I want to dress down. Quirky is my style. I fill the empty void within my soul with headbands, and necklaces, and baubles. And truthfully, as the days go by, I’m becoming more and more okay with that.  

My tattoos are a permanent testament to all of the things that I love. Although it may not be widely accepted through these parts, they represent art that is uniquely suited to me.

I’m pretty sure that I was a chain-smoking flapper in a past life. The 1920s encompass a hope, a lifestyle full of grandeur, I can only imagine living in it...but boy, if I would’ve... and I’m fairly certain that Zelda Fitzgerald would’ve been my best friend.

I want to read as many classics as I can get my hands on. I want to read these novels, see this artistry for myself. I want to know what made these authors tick, see the gumption put into an often singular, magnificent piece, that will forever be mentioned around stuffy dinner parties, or at scholarly brunches.

I want to travel the world. But first, I would like to travel the South, and linger in all of its nooks and crannies, taking in every dialect, every foodie hole in the wall, every piece of great architecture, every old house. I want to hear every ghost story, every tale of woe. I want to meet characters, and laugh with sinners, and break bread with old-timers.

I want to have every glorious line that has been destined as cinema gold memorized, so that it flows fluidly off my lips at the most opportune time. I want to go in old theaters, and take in modern plays.

I want to see things, and do things, and go places. I want to have my life as filled to the brim as it possibly can be. I want to meet as many people as I possibly can. I want to find what inspires me to do what I do best, and be who I am best, and love what I love the best.

Military funerals make me cry. Taps followed by the 21-gun salute can bring tears to my eyes and make my knees weak.  Every. Single. Time.

My dog holds my heart in her paw. I want to have a little boy and a little girl at some point in my future. I was told once that I would have a boy based on a pin dangling from a string. I wasn't even aware of how desperately I wanted this until a few months ago.

I still love to hear the rain beating down on a tin roof. I think that that sound inevitably takes every single girl to a certain time and place. I know that it’s the truth in my case.

I am both a mama’s girl and a daddy’s girl, and will forever be. I got my mama’s wit, her eyes, her hair, her blood type. But don’t be fooled...daddy sure had something to do with my makeup, too. I was blessed with his ability to speak up, his charisma, his temper, his filter (or lack thereof). I am an equal mixture of both.

Music inspires me. Art inspires me. Literature inspires me. And all have the ability to make my stomach sink, and tears spring to my eyes all in one sharp swoop to a forte or climax.

My emotions run high, and I am quick-tempered. Not nearly an ideal mixture. But there you have it. I am both reckless and secure. Cold and standoffish, tender and charismatic. I am painstakingly complicated and mind-numbingly simple.

I am a glorious contradiction. I am marvelously constructed. I am very different. I am unique. I am me.

*All photos posted on this blog were taken by Jennifer Lazos at Brazen Boudoir.

Mama Says Monday: Online Dating

Me and my sassy mama (Photo Credit: Jennifer Lazos)

In the past few years, my mama has become a bit of a small town celebrity…with her sassy comments and witticisms that I put on facebook and all.  It’s funny, really, I’ve had friends message me that have told me that they approached my mama in the grocery store or had thought about it.  One message said that she had thought about approaching my mama and saying “I’m your biggest fan.”  I don’t know that Cynthia Kay would know how to handle that.  It just cracks me up.  My mom, small town famous…

In restarting this blog, I knew I wanted to have a few more features to inspire me, and make it more manageable.  Well, having such a sassy mama, I knew that I wanted to incorporate her in somehow.  So, I’m going to start a Monday feature called “Mama Says.” 

I put a query out on facebook the other night, and got some delightful (and funny) topics for my mama to weigh in on.  The first will be online dating.

“My thoughts on online dating….

No, no, no, no, no….Don’t do it.  My generation either knew the person, or was introduced by someone who knew both of you, or possibly set up on a blind date, also by knew something about you.  You met in a public place and you conversed and learned about the other person. 

Now, I’ve heard about online services.  Match is advertised on TV, as is Our Time, Farmers Only, and eHarmony.  EHarmony apparently asks a billion questions so they can match you up with someone who answers all those questions with similar answers.  That’s all well and good except for one thing…people lie because they don’t think that the truth is good enough.  So what happens?  You get matched up with another liar.  Woo hoo!!  Also, it has been my observation, over the years, that sometimes opposites attract and complement one another.  They have different strengths and make a good match.  So similarities aren’t always the answer to romance. 

As for Farmers Only…I’ve gotta say, they have a real catchy song for advertising.  But, having lived around farmers all my life, I’ve gotta add this…I love farmers, and they definitely play a big role in America and around the world, but…Farming involves a lot of gambles.  Personally, I don’t want a gambling man.

Now, that brings me to another online service called Plenty of Fish.  I haven’t seen that one advertised on TV, I’ve just heard people talking about it.  Now I’ve never been much of a fisherman.  But just because there are plenty in the pond, doesn’t mean that you should cast your line in that water.  And just because you CAN catch it, doesn’t mean it’s a keeper.  This I know, in a body of water, you can find sharks, piranhas, and trash fish.  You can be fishing for one thing and catch something entirely different.  Many times you catch something you don’t want.  I think fishing online may result in the same kind of catch. 

Our Time…I have just one thing say:  I’ve had MY time for far too long to want OUR time again.

Just like texting and emailing has eliminated the art of conversation, online dating has eliminated romance.  A bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates are definitely a thing of the past (Frankly, I would have just preferred a Snickers bar and roadside phlox).  Besides, I have watched far too many Criminal Minds to want to even try online dating….”

Current Obsession: Soap and Glory's Sexy Mother Pucker Lip Products

Sexy Mother Pucker Lip Plumping Gloss in Plumsup, Pillow Plump in Coy, and lip stick in Super Nude.

Rheba got me the Sexy Mother Pucker Lip Plumping gloss for Christmas….and I fell in love, y'all.  She said the name had cracked her up (knowing my love of all things foul mouthed.  Lol) and she just had to get it.  The one that she got me smells like chocolate…Now, they may all smell like chocolate, I am not sure.  But the color Plumsup certainly did.  About 30 seconds into putting it on, your lips start tingling.  I knew this was the case for most lip plumpers, but this gloss?  The tingling lasts for quite some time.  Now, did I notice fuller lips?  Eh…not a huge difference.  But I do love this lip gloss.

In doing a little bit of google research, I found that there were other lip products by this brand.  On my last trip to Ulta, I got the lip stick in "Super Nude" and Pillow Plump in “coy.”  Although I am trying to adjust to a nude-shaded pout, I am really happy with both of these products as well.  The lip stick is amazing.  The Pillow Plump is much like the plumping gloss; same effect, just glossier and more of a sheer color. 

The next time y’all are at Ulta, check them out. 

Say It With A Picture Saturday

Covered Bridge Trip

In my hunt for a picture in my Facebook photo archives today, I stumbled across the photos from one of my very favorite trips.

Howard's Bridge

Sometimes a southern girl feels the itch for a road trip.  I truly wish I could inform you of my train of thought as I planned this trip back in 2014.  It was just my mom and I.  Rheba had just started a job, and was unable to be gone for a week.  I do know that the plan had originally been to stay in Athens, GA.  Then maybe tool around and see Helen, Tallulah Falls... just to name a few of the towns.  My mom and I ended up only staying in Athens the first night.  Though a very neat little town, the one-way streets and metered parking was enough to do the Sheffield girls in quick.  BUT, this minor disappointment was what led us off on a trek with no real destination.  I honestly don't remember how it turned into a hunt for all of the covered bridges in North East Georgia, though...but it did.

Watson Mill Bridge

Now, I won't lie here, I've seen the movie "The Bridges of Madison County," and perhaps that was what had romanticized the idea of going around and taking photos of as many of the bridges I could find.  But I'm so very glad that we did.  This wound up being one of my very favorite trips of all time.  If you are ever up that way, and have some spare time on your hands, definitely look up the covered bridge map of Georgia:  https://www.coveredbridgemap.com/ga/

It was so very neat to see all of the different ones.  Many are pretty well maintained.  I believe there was only one that we were unable to get to. 

Stovall Mill Bridge

Another little tidbit:  If you have never been to Juliette, Georgia, you have surely missed out.  For all of the lovers of the movie "Fried Green Tomatoes," this is an absolute must.  It is an exquisite gem of the South.  There are several local shops varying from antiques to a shop with local honey, that line the main drag.  The highlight of the town, the Whistle Stop Café is at the very end of the strip.  If you make it for lunch, you have simply GOT to order an appetizer of fried green tomatoes.  For dessert, be sure to order Pecan Pie Cobbler.  It is slap yo' mama good.  (Though, let me lay your worries to rest, Cynthia Kay was unharmed in the devouring of this dessert).  

Pecan Pie Cobbler

Honestly, the trip was amazing, but getting to spend some one-on-one time with my mama?  Well, that was just priceless.

Jenny Nicole (Bierman) Rowland

I remember standing in line to greet friends and family at my dad’s viewing.  Rheba’s FFA advisor walked up to me, looking confused, and asked “I didn’t realize you had another sister.”  She saw the confusion on my face when I answered “No….just Rheba?” and said “There is a girl walking around who looks just like you.”

A few months after that, after I had shown my behind over some grave injustice at a nursing home, I found out that our similar looks had again confused someone.  This time, poor Jenny had caught the wrath that should have been hurled at me.  Whoops. 

I’ve often thought that I had more Watson and Arrington features in my looks.  Many of us have the dark hair and dark eyes.  But then came Jenny.

Jenny is one of the sweetest, most genuine people you will ever meet.  Her personality reminds me of an upbeat cheerleader.  You can’t help but laugh when she is around.  Given her positivity and optimism, one would never realize how much she has overcome in the last few years.

To sum her up:  She is the mother of the fabulous Miss Scarlett Grace Rowland, and self-proclaimed “Mamarazzi.”  She is the Army wife of Clay Rowland.  The dog mama to Lola and Ozzy.  And that is just the tip of the iceburg.  I am so incredibly proud of the woman that she is, and blessed to call her my cousin.

Jenny Nicole Rowland

What is your full name? 

“Jenny Nicole Rowland, but I like to be called Princess.”

How did you get your name? 

“Well... my parents couldn't decide on a name. My mom wanted ‘Scarlett’ after Gone With the Wind, and my dad wanted ‘Dallas’ after them Cowboys. My sister settled the debate with ‘Jenny’ which worked out because my Great-Grandmother (on Dad's side) was named Jenny. But.... I did just find out, like this past year, that she wasn't a nice lady so...that's awesome.”

Did you have any nicknames? 

“‘Jenny B.,’ ‘Beestack’ is what dad always called me, ‘J-Nasty’ is what the homies call me lol.”

When/Where were you born? 

“September 2, 1993 in Gainesville FL.  I think N. Florida Regional.”

Jenny and her dad, Jay Bierman

Best memories of your Father? 

“Probably him letting us dress him up; wrestling; and piggyback rides.  Him shouting ‘ZotPocket,’ and playing basketball in the driveway with him.”

Jenny and her mom, Tammy Bierman

Best memories of your Mother? 

“I love how mom used to build the best forts...she is awesome at DIY and school projects and just so detail-oriented. I loved Halloween time with mom, too, because her and dad always went all-out. I think sharing a love for Gone With the Wind will always be special for mom and I too.”

What did you want to be when you grew up? 

“An artist.”

How do you remember holidays growing up? 

“I'll say it now, I'll say it always--my parents are amazing and gave me an amazing childhood. I'm very fortunate. They always went above and beyond.  Christmas throws up all over the house. Mom loves snowmen. We do Elf on The Shelf for the kids now. Mom would even decorate the bathroom. Halloween--both mom and dad would dress up and mom and I would decorate the yard with super cool themes. Holidays have always just been a blast.” 

What was your favorite food that your mother/father made? 

“Okay, dad has only ever cooked like hamburger helper or spaghetti or like, pre-made lasagna for us, and I'm just glad I didn't die from like food poisoning or something, hahaha.   Mom makes super bomb chicken parm that literally everyone begs us to make for them (she taught me how to make it and it's a big hit).”

What was your first job? 

“Dishwasher at Robinson's Seafood.”

What does “Small Town Life” mean to you? 

“That you better behave or else you'll be talk of the town. hahaha. But seriously, I think it has an undeniable sense of community and caring. Everyone waves, everyone knows everyone... it's easygoing. Clay always laughed cause I can find anyone to talk to. The first time I brought him to CK he said ‘Oh man, I had no idea I was dating a celebrity!’ Haha.”

Jenny and Clay Rowland

Where did you meet your spouse? 

“We met through POF.  He's my fish. He sent a message that said ‘hey, you're cute.’ And I liked the proper use of ‘you're.’ Haha. We met up in person at my place in Orlando after about a week of talking nonstop (I'm good at that).”

What was the first thing that you noticed about him/her? 

“Probably the fact that he was hilarious. Very easy going but very funny.  He tried to ‘guess’ my phone number and said ‘oh, I'm surprised it's not 8675309.’ Went right over my head... when it finally clicked, I couldn't stop laughing. I thought he was just some weirdo for trying to guess my number. Haha.”

When did you know that they were the one? 

“He showed up with a case of beer the first time we met in person and I just knew we were off to a fun start. We also jokingly tell people that it was ‘love at first fart’ because in the early days of us hanging out, I fell asleep on him while watching a movie and I farted.... When I woke up, he told me. I was sort of embarrassed and laughed and asked if it was loud or something. He was like ‘Nah, not really.’ A few weeks later he was like ‘that fart I told you about, it was freaking huge. You ripped ass. I felt relieved for you.’ Hahahaha. He didn't want to embarrass me further with that detail. I swear. But clearly I knew we could be comfortable with one another once that fart was out of the way.”

Clay and Jenny on their wedding day.

Tell me about your wedding.

“Clay came home from the recruiting office on Monday (he had been starting the process of enlisting) and he said ‘so uh, the recruiters said we should get married this weekend if we plan on getting hitched within the next 4 years. Paperwork is a bitch so you game?’ Hahaha! And Clay makes me embrace my impulsive side. I knew I loved him then, I'd love him always. So I said ‘let's do it!’  But let me just say, we didn’t just get married because the Army said we should.  It was definitely a ‘sooner or later’ thing...and sooner just came upon us quick.  But I wouldn’t have it any other way.  I just knew he was all I wanted.  He’s my best friend and I’ve never loved someone like I love him.  We got married that weekend at the park in town. All he wanted was a tuxedo t-shirt so of course that's what he got.  He's so handsome. Even in something that silly.  He actually helped roll my dreads before we got hitched.  haha.  I thought that was a funny memory for sure...because I had freaking dreads.  And his mom surprised us by passing down the rings his dad had given her...I was so confused when he put that on my finger.  Lol.  It was the sweetest thing and they’re very special to us.”

How many years have you been married? 

“This October it'll be 4 years.”

What is the key to a happy marriage? 

“Booze. Haha. Just kidding. I think respect and openly talking goes a long way... and just trying to always work as a team.” 

Jenny and Clay at the Gender Reveal Party

What were your memories of expecting your first baby? 

“Well Scarlett is actually a rainbow baby. I knew since I was 15 that having kids may not of been a possibility for me, and Clay knew that before we got married. I miscarried twins at Christmas of 2014. A rainbow baby is one that comes after the storm of a loss. That loss was very hard on us because Clay was in South Korea (I got pregnant right before he left. Had no clue. Found out once he was already over there.).”

“When I found out I was pregnant with Scarlett, we had been sort of talking more about getting things in order to start the adoption process because I just didn't think we'd be having our own baby...I remember crying cause I didn't believe it and Clay kept saying "I told you. I knew you were pregnant. I told you." Haha.  At least once a day, the entire pregnancy, I'd look at Clay and squeal and tell him we were having a baby. Haha.”

“Every week that went by was a little victory. There was some rough moments but the day we heard her heartbeat, we both cried.”

Jenny and Miss Scarlett Grace Rowland

“I remember Clay wouldn't let me near the baby dept because he knew I was ready to buy half the store.” 

“We found out Mother's Day weekend that it was a girl. He had a brief moment of disappointment flash across his face followed by a big grin because it was our little Scarlett. He knew I was dying to have a girl and I never shut up about how she'd be a daddy's girl.”

“I cried over stretch marks behind my knees. Had no clue I'd get those there. I cried over worrying the dogs would feel forgotten. Hahaha. I remember the last 20ish days, I was so uncomfortable and every night I'd say ‘X more days! I can do this!’  I remember crying when clothes didn't fit. And constantly asking if I was pretty. Hahaha.”

“Clay and I used to crack up cause Scarlett would hiccup all the time. And she was breech so you could feel her big ol' head. HAHAHA.  It poked out.”

“I was so excited about her birthday being halloween.”

Miss Scarlett Grace Rowland

If you could sum Miss Scarlett up in one word, what would it be? 

“Precious. Everything about her is just absolutely precious.  After she was born, all I could say was ‘she's so cute.’ But she truly is just beyond precious.”

What has been your proudest moment as a parent? 

“I have a few so far... I think my first true day on my own--just Scarlett and I--it felt like I knew I could get through it all and she was in such a good mood and made it better.

I was proud of Clay from day one but I didn't feel proud of myself until I realized I could do this. I know the day we had to send him off, she was sooo good. She slept and didn't fuss at all that day. She typically is a great baby and Clay says it's because she knows I'm trying my best for the both of us. I think the first time I realized she was looking for me and smiled when I came up to her, that was something I'll never forget.”

Jenny, Clay, and Miss Scarlett Grace days after she was born.

What has been your hardest moment as a parent? 

“Probably having to watch Clay leave her behind. It was just hard because I hated knowing he was going to miss so much and I was terrified to be doing this without him. Scarlett also has a milk protein intolerance and when trying to find the right formula for her, I'd just cry every time I had to change her dirty diapers because I knew her little stomach was a mess and I was doing the best I could but it was just such a process and she'd still be happy but I felt like I wasn't doing a good job... after the c-section, I felt very useless and that was exhausting too. Your hormones are crazy and here I was, barely able to take care of myself... I just kept telling Clay I wanted to be supermom because he was such a rockstar from day one.”

What do you wish you had known when you were younger? 

“In general? Probably that the sooner you learn to love yourself and to be independent, the easier it is to get over people's bullshit. Haha.” 

If you had one do-over in your life, what would it be? 

“Probably just a blanket idea of not wasting so much time on people undeserving of my kindness... and maybe trying to not stress so badly.  I'd probably try to re-approach some conflicts and handle them better as well. But, live and learn. No point in worrying at this point, just gotta move up and out.” 

Jenny and Miss Scarlett

What bit of advice do you wish someone would’ve given you when you were younger?

“I guess maybe something about realizing just how important each day is. I think being a military spouse and now being a parent myself, I really have a good sense of how important time truly is. I try to cherish every day that I can with Scarlett because she's growing before my eyes and with Clay because I knew that deployment was inevitable.”

What advice would you give a young person? 

“Try your best to find at least one thing about each day that made you happy. Even if it's a little thing. Be kind. Be kind to others and be kind to yourself. And never apologize for who you are (unless you're an asshole. lol).”

In your words, what is the key to happiness?

“Good vibes. Good tunes, good people, good food, good booze, good laughs. People say don't sweat the small stuff and I struggle so much with that because I'm very observant. I'm so detail-oriented... but although I sometimes sweat the small stuff, I appreciate the hell out of the good little moments that each day brings. That's why I say you have to always be able to find one good thing about each day. That is how you find happiness.  Also, love courageously. That is so so important. This world really needs more love. Smile and wave at children, pet all the dogs, hug your friends and family. Just put good into the world and you will find happiness.”

What do most people not realize about military life? 

“Well, probably that these men and women are paid dirt and they take on so much both mentally and physically.... Like... dirt pay. Hahaha. I hate that people think it's great pay. LOL.”

“Ummm, I also don't think that they realize it's really its own way of life.. I know that some of my dad's family don't know many who are in the service... they were just so intrigued and just, awestruck over all that comes with this lifestyle. I remember they asked Clay (in regards to basic training) ‘So you shot a gun!? Was it scary!?’”

What was the hardest thing you have faced as a military wife? 

“The goodbyes are pretty tough... Um, Clay hit a really low point.. I'm sure it happens in other scenarios, other jobs.. but it was extremely tough to watch the love of your life hit rock bottom while they're on the other side of the world. It's tough because you already don't know how to help them and you can tell they're so lost but you can't do much of anything...but worry.  I promised him that after his enlistment, I will never let him hit rock bottom and be lost and alone like that ever again. I won't let him be so miserable and broken down.”

Best thing? 

“The homecomings! The friendships. God, I love our friends so much. I would've never met such great people if it weren't for the military. I also love the sense of pride. No matter how much bullshit we've been put through, I will always be so proud and thankful for my husband's service. I never wanted this lifestyle but I do love this country and I'm glad I married someone who wanted more for his future and wanted to do good while trying to better his future. It's admirable and I'm glad I've been alongside him for the crazy ride.”

You have faced two deployments; how do you prepare for/get through during these times? 

“Lawdddd. Well, it's called ‘embracing the suck.’ With South Korea, I met this kick-ass group of gals--my tribe. We are the troublemaker tribe. They are my girls for life. You have to stay busy, find good support, and be flexible for phone calls at crazy hours. My Korean Struggle gals, my tribe... they have always given me so much support. This time around, I have a few gal pals that I get lunch with here and there and have baby play dates with. I actually bought a sander today and I'm going to stay busy with some DIY projects. I have Scarlett to keep me going and I like going out for walks or grabbing food with friends. You just have to make the best of it. Most importantly--you call your mama. Always.”

“Also, I usually try to record Clay singing a song in the car, acting like a dumbass, like shortly before he leaves.  On shitty days I’ll watch it and crack up.  The last time, he sang ‘Hooked on a Feeling’ and the video is hilarious. And the night before/day of…I typically cry but try really hard not to.  I lose my shit in the car after he’s gone. But letting myself do that seems to get that huge wave out of the way so I’m just left with little sad days here and there.  I’ve gotta rip the bandaid and then embrace the suck.  We skype at least once a week.  I start getting upset if it’s longer than a week.  We text every day.  I have a clock on my phone that tells me the time difference because I suck with time.”

“A lot of people have little traditions.  Like when we get off Skype, I make him blow a kiss. Haha.  We usually get steak or go to Hooters before he leaves/right when he gets home.”

“And I love care packages.  I love decorating boxes and sending stuff, even though he says he doesn’t need it usually.  I like trying to make sure he knows he’s on my mind.  And I send stuff for buddies too.  I always tell him; you just don’t know if someone has no support or if they’re just having a shitty day.  So, like, at Christmas…I made an extra little “stocking” for him to give someone that may have been having a rough time.  A lot of these folks are young, they don’t have good family support.  Most aren’t married and the ones who are, are newlyweds or struggling really bad…things like that.  I just always welcome anyone and everyone and I do what I can for the ones who have no one.”

What are your future plans? 

“November of this year, Clay's enlistment ends (not like I'm counting down or anything!), we will be moving back to the sunshine state and hopefully buying a house in the near future. Clay really wants to get an IT job because he's a huge nerd. He wants to play in some video game tournaments too.  I'm enjoying mom life. I honestly can't wait to make more mom friends and to go to like birthday parties and stuff.   Mom life is the shit. Hahaha. I can't wait to watch Scarlett become a little person. She amazes me every day. I jokingly plan on being a tiger mom so I'm putting in major work to have a prodigy here. Hahaha. But, I know Clay and I sort of agreed that, until Scarlett was pre-school age, we want for me to just focus on helping her be the best little princess. I look forward to teaching her so much. Afterwards, I may try to find some PR work to get into or some type of work that allows me to utilize my degree. I really hope to make some time for volunteering. I want to show Scarlett it's important to give your time and make a difference in the world.”

Exist

Yesterday, as I was getting coffee at the Jiffy store, as I do every, single workday…I ran into the sweet middle-aged lady that I had been hoping to interview for a 15 minutes of Fame Interview.  I told her a little about my blog, and asked her if she would be interested if I interviewed her.  She said “No, ma’am, I’m not interested at all.”  She then went on to tell me how very boring she is and that she doesn’t have anything to tell.  But in just telling me that, she also stated that she has tried to retire several times, but just can’t seem to.  She is just attached to the people that she gets to see every day…and that’s what keeps her going.

Now, I’ll be real honest here, I hate hearing the word “no.”  But aside from being turned down for an interview…I have been thinking an awful lot about why I started this blog in the first place.  I think that everyone has a story to tell.  Even if you think you are the most boring person on the face of the Earth, there is someone out there who is going to find your story relatable.   We have so much to learn from the people around us.  And that is why I first started this. 

After speaking with my friend at the Jiffy store, I was reminded of something my friend Jenn had said about photography in her interview just the other day.  “Stop. Just stop. Stop over-thinking, stop looking at yourself in that way. I swear I could retire if I was paid for every time I've heard that from anyone wanting to book a shoot. And I, legit, get it. I'm not 100% happy with how I look, but if I waited to ever be in a photograph until I was happy, I'd never be in any, and what message does that send my daughters? There is literally NEVER a 'right time' to be photographed except right now.”  “Everyone of us should be making an effort to be in portraits. To exist for our children and grandchildren.”  I think that could also be relevant about telling one’s story. 

I will leave you with a thought for the day: make an effort to exist.  In pictures.  In memories.  In stories.  Make an effort to exist for those around you.  They need that.  There will come a day when you're not there anymore, and those you left behind are going to have only those stories, those memories, and those photographs. 

December

“Some people come into our lives and quickly go.  Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts.  And we are never, ever the same.”  --Unknown

I know that I’ve said this before—and prepare yourself, I probably will again—but I am so incredibly blessed to have the people that I have in my life. 

There is someone in particular that always manages to show up in my life when I need him the most.   We have been friends for over 10 years now; and I have no clue how he always manages it…but he always just shows up when I need him.  A few years ago, when I was dealing with a guy who repeatedly tore me down, this guy popped back up in my life and reminded me that I deserved better. 

The way people treat you is a very big deal.  And please hear me when I say, I had the VERY best example with my dad.  He truly did everything in his power to see my mom, my sister, and I happy.  And having such a wonderful example, one would think I wouldn’t fall victim as easily to be treated poorly or with such little respect. 

The friend that I speak of also did so much to set an example for how I should be treated.  He always built me up.  He always reminded me that I was different, but that it was an incredible thing.  I was special to him, and he made it clear.  He was a gentleman, but it was much more than just opening doors for me.  It didn’t matter that I, myself, can sometimes have a foul mouth…if we were in a group, talking, and someone was using foul language, he would remind them not to talk so filthy in front of a lady.  It was the little things, but over time, they have had the biggest impact on me.  He set the bar so high, sometimes I feel as if it will be unattainable for anyone to reach it.  Perhaps that is why my ring finger remains ring-less.

I am always amazed at how your life can change at the span of one conversation.  As I sit writing this, tears are filling my eyes.  In December, the very moment that I heard his voice on the other end of the phone, I thought “Here you are again…how did you know this was the very moment that I needed you?”

Life has taken us different directions, and we aren’t as close as we once were.  But when my life feels like constant turmoil, somehow he always manages to show up.  I have no clue how he does it, but for him, and his friendship, I am eternally grateful.

Lanie Werner Guyton

Lanie Guyton.  Photo taken by her son, Aaron, as she was dancing with her daughter, Laila.

In the words of the beloved Truvy Jones “I don't trust anyone who does their own hair. I don't think it's natural.”

For all of you gals who caught that reference…kudos.  For those of you who didn’t, you need to go out and buy “Steel Magnolias” right this very minute.  It’s a Southern classic, and well worth the money.  You will laugh…you will cry…and if you’re anything like me, you will strive to fulfill your lifelong goal of being Ouiser in the flesh.

Now, I quoted Truvy (the hairdresser friend in Steel Magnolias), because she, too, does hair.  But the girl I’m fixin’ to talk about?…Well, she falls somewhere between Clarice and Ouiser. 

In a small town, everybody knows everybody.  It’s likely that a majority of the classmates you started Kindergarten with will go all 13 years with you, and be there to toss their cap with you the night of graduation (…iffin’ they make it out of Mrs. O’Neil’s American Government class).  I have been fortunate to have some of my very best friends since grade school.  Unfortunately, although I knew of her (our mom’s worked together through the Health Department), I didn’t get to really know Lanie until after high school, after she moved back from Ocala.

Small towns are a breeding ground for life-long friendships.  Of that I am sure.  And Lord knows, our friendship is built on the essentials: sassy, sarcastic comments; dirty jokes; dry humor, and movie references.  She brightens my day, daily.  I hope you will like her interview.

I am including this photo, because the author of this blog made the Bride's wedding dress.  *Ahem*  Author's discretion.  Photo credit: Lanie's cousin, Polly Haldeman

What Southern character are you most like (movie/book/etc)? 

“I would have to say that I’m a mixture of three.  Clarice and Ouiser from Steel Magnolias…but sometimes I also feel like Mama from Mama’s Family, because she’s so sarcastic.”

Describe what small-town life means to you.

“I think it’s something that you don’t miss until you don’t have it anymore.  Sure, there is the part where everyone is in your business all the time.  But there is also the side where, when something happens…like when someone in the community passes away or faces hardship…the community rallies, and comes together.  You really begin to understand that they have your back.”

Aaron, Justice, Lanie, and Laila.  Photo Credit: Polly Haldeman

Aaron, Justice, Lanie, and Laila.  Photo Credit: Polly Haldeman

If you could use a term to describe each of your children, what would they be?

“Aaron would be ‘independent.’  He’s also very much an old soul.  Laila would be ‘beautiful soul.’  She is just very kind and sweet.  Justice is ‘charismatic.’  He never meets a stranger.” 

Favorite movie of all time?

“The Goonies.  And Rudy.  I wonder if I just had a crush on Sean Astin, because I loved both of those movies, and he was in both.  But definitely The Goonies.”

Favorite comfort food?

“Mashed potatoes and gravy.  Cornbread. Fried Chicken.  Basically all of the food my GG used to make.  But I will say, all food is comforting.”

Who is your hero?

“It would be a combination of two.  My GG, my mom’s mom; and my Grandfather, my dad’s dad.  My GG…her mother basically abandoned her.  She was raised by her grandparents…and that was pretty unheard of back then.  But don’t get me wrong, her grandparents gave her a good life, they absolutely loved her.  She worked from an early age.  And she was just such a strong woman.  It didn’t matter what was going on, she always looked for the best in every situation.  And rarely did I ever hear her say anything negative about a person.  That was just the way she was.  She always looked for the positive in any situation…any person.”

Lanie and her GG, Photo Credit: Lanie's mom, Patricia Werner

“My grandfather, my dad’s dad, had an extraordinary childhood.  His family passed away, and he was raised by his Uncle.  Then his uncle passed away.  He began working at the dairies in New York.  That’s where he met my grandmother.  He fell madly in love with her when they met, but she was already courting someone else.  My great-uncles didn’t like the man she was courting, so they did their best to split them up…and her father, my great-grandfather, really liked my grandfather too.  Shortly after, she broke it off with the other man and her and my grandfather got together.  They were married shortly after.  Then he went to war.  He earned a Purple Heart because he was shot; the bullet went in two inches from his heart.  When the officers went to my grandmother’s house to tell her that he’d been injured, she saw them coming up and passed out.  She had thought they’d said he’d died.  When she woke up, my great grandfather was telling her ‘It’s okay!  He’s okay!’  Growing up, I was his shadow.  I was always close behind him anywhere he was going.  The one time I ever got into trouble by him was one day when he was going outside, and I wanted to go with him, but my grandmother wanted me to help her with something inside.  I had either said I didn’t want to, or given a dirty look.  That was the only time he ever got onto me.   And let me tell you, he loved my grandmother.  Like…he really loved her.”

Lanie and her Grandfather.  Photo credit: Lanie's Mom, Patricia Werner

“Both my GG and my Grandfather overcame big obstacles…and despite it all, they both became really good people.  That’s why they’re my heroes.”

You have lived in Alaska, a place I have always wanted to visit.  Tell me the positives and negatives of living there?

“It’s a simpler way of living there….and a different way of living.  It is beautiful.  And one of the positives was getting to see the Northern Lights.  The negatives would be…having things shipped to Alaska was hard.  And the prices were sometimes really expensive.  Produce was really high. And just a gallon of milk was $5…on Post, where it should have been cheaper.”

John, Laila, Lanie, Justice, and Aaron.  Photo Credit: Ashley Fuller Photography.

Of all of the places you have seen/visited, what has been your favorite?

“Denali.  By far, that was the most beautiful.  I really like Charleston and Savannah, too.   I visited New Orleans once, but it was soon after Katrina had hit.  If I went back, I’d like to see the historical side of New Orleans, because I really didn’t get to see as much as I would’ve liked.  But out of all of the places I’ve been, Denali has been my favorite.”

If you could choose a dream vacation, where would it be?

“I’ve always wanted to go to Fiji.”

You have done hair for years, what is a common beauty mistake you have frequently seen?

“Eyebrows is a big one.  Or haircuts or color that don’t look good on a person’s face shape.  And there are some hairstyles that should’ve never been in style.  Like the mullet.”

What is something you wish more girls knew?

“You don’t have to pay outrageous amounts to have good haircuts/color.  I cannot tell you how many times a girl has come in and I’ve had to correct something she spent $200, $300, or even $400 on.”