Restless

Mandala image found on steemit.com

You guys, the struggle bus has plowed me over this week. 

Not only has it been a week chock-full of crazy at work….but I’m feeling the most restless I’ve felt in a very long time. Nothing suits. I’ll start watching a movie or show….I can’t focus. I’ll start reading my book, and within minutes, I have to set it down…because I don’t want to read. I’ll start listening to a song, and will end up changing it before it’s done…because I’m just not feeling it.

My heart is discontent.

I want to do drastic things; perhaps, to break up the mundane. I want to get my nose pierced. I want to get tattoed. But I also know that making bold decisions during this time might not be in my best interest.

I am longing to be elsewhere. And yet, the destination is unknown. I feel like I’ve been still for far too long. I need to see new things. I need to photograph old barns and red dirt roads and train tracks and new sunsets.

I was supposed to go to Georgia this weekend, which would have helped tremendously, but our trip got postponed.

I won’t lie here, I tried to fill the void with things. I have bought crystals, shirts, and books, all week long. And even though these were things I wanted…they still didn’t fill that void. I suppose that just goes to show that materialistic things can’t make you happy or fill a void.

I’m restless. And perhaps on the verge of a transformation.