eighteen.

eighteen.

I am no good at this.

Being hopeful, and so full of self-doubt,

all at the same time.

I am not eighteen anymore;

when I was so young, and dumb,

and loving and trusting.

It has been so very long,

since last feeling this way.

Warm, and scared;

happy and nervous.

I thought this was lost on me,

forevermore.

And I have to remember that:

Patience is a virtue.

But I am not patient.

There is risk.

But I am scared of risk.

I am trying.

But this is new, again, to me.

I am no good at this.

Being hopeful, and so full of self-doubt,

all at the same time.

I am not eighteen anymore;

when I was so young, and dumb,

and loving and trusting.

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This was written on September 21, 2014.